Tag: humanist weddings

The luckiest bride in the world – Lindsay & Gregor at the Botanic Gardens

On By @humanistbrianIn Botanic Gardens, John Muir GroveLeave a comment

This is the John Muir Grove at the Edinburgh Botanic Gardens one of the most special and spectacular wedding venues in the east – as long as it doesn’t rain. The Botanic Gardens have just completed a major refurbishment of their indoor venues and the Caledonian Hall, where Lindsay and Gregor held their wedding dinner, is grand, fairly formal and perfect with all your guests around the single long table. It was rather strange to have people wandering around close to your chosen wedding situation because, of course, they don’t close the Gardens so people drift by and watch your ceremony, from a distance to be honest, generally with their mouth open because the setting is just breathtaking. The grove is formed by a stand of giant Redwood trees and surrounded by rhododendrons in bloom at this time of year and by acers that will be spectacular in the autumn.

It had been raining every day for five days before their wedding but in her texts to me Lindsay was adamant that she was having her wedding outside in the grove. “It will be fine Brian, don’t worry.” She was correct, it was sunny but not very warm if I am honest. Their ceremony was beautiful. They had hired Keith Murray a classical guitarist to play as the guests arrived and during the signing of the schedule but his principal duty was to play “Wild Mountain Thyme” as Lindsay entered. Well, not so much entered as strolled around a winding path, past all the azaleas in bloom, led by her bridesmaids. Just wonderful. Lindsay and Gregor had written their own ceremony and chosen the music and the readings and this is one I would like to share. It was read beautifully by Robin, Lindsay’s brother:


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The Promise
Eileen Rafter

The sun danced on the sea with a sparkling smile,
As two lovers sat quietly, alone for a while.
Then he turned and said, with a casual air
(Though he blushed from his chin to the tips of his hair),
“I think I might like to get married to you”

“Well then, she said, “Well there’s a thought,
But what if we can’t promise to be all that we ought,
If I’m late yet again, when we plan to go out.
For I know I can’t promise, I’ll learn to ignore
Dirty socks and damp towels strewn all over the floor.

So if we can’t vow to be all that we should
I’m not sure what to do, though the idea’s quite good”.
But he gently smiled and tilted his head
Till his lips met her ear and softly he said

“I promise, to weave my dreams into your own,
That wherever you breathe will be my hearts home.
I promise, that whether with rags or with gold I am blessed
Your smile is the jewel I will treasure the best.

Do you think then, my love, we should marry – do you?”
“Yes” she said smiling “I do”.

Insane, but beautifully insane – Alaina at Linlithgow Palace

On By @humanistbrianIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

 The snow and ice had melted in the midst of the coldest winter on record when the day came for Alaina to arrive for her wedding at Linlithgow Palace – on horseback. It was the 2nd of March 2010 when I first met Alaina and David to talk about their wedding. “So,” I asked casually. “have you got anything special planned yet for the big day?” “Yes, I’m arriving on horseback.” Alaina replied. “On the 25th January? On horseback?” I think was my stunned reply.

Alaina arriving at the Burgh Halls
another excellent Linlithgow venue

But on the day it all went well. Alaina made her entrance and brought the traffic on Linlithgow High Street to a stop, and then the piper brought her up the street to the Palace. I know she had to quickly change when she dismounted but I didn’t inquire as to whether she had her long johns on under her beautiful dress – there was a bitter wind blowing.

The wedding was held in the undercroft, a lovely, intimate room perfect for a wedding with 50 or 60 guests and, as you can see, the photo opportunities in the Palace are just amazing. David and Alaina’s wedding ceremony was as unique as was the day and the story of how they first met was particularly amusing – so tears and laughter flowed in equal measure. Just as a wedding ceremony should be, or so I believe.

Do You Need A Rehearsal? – Claire and Michael’s wedding at Prestonfield House Hotel

On By @humanistbrianIn Prestonfield House HotelLeave a comment


The weather was a bit variable, light showers and blazing sunshine as we all assembled at The Prestonfield House Hotel for Claire and Michael’s big day. They had chosen a marquee in the grounds as the venue, with the reception being held in the stables about 100m away. The marquee was lovely, decorated with flowers swagged in white, the string quartet was playing in the corner as the ushers showed the guests to their seats and there was a definite buzz of excitement in the air. Claire and Michael had chosen to have a ceremony that was slightly more formal and, in order to make sure of all the details, had asked me to travel down the day before and to have a rehearsal. Which brings me to the subject of this piece – should you have a rehearsal or should you not have a rehearsal?

 
If you do not have a rehearsal I still promise that your day will be as wonderful and memorable and all that your guests will notice is that is was a relaxed and seemingly spontaneous occasion. For many of the couples I marry this is exactly as they want their wedding to be. I will arrive about 45 minutes before the beginning of the ceremony and spend that time briefing the groom about where to stand, what to do and, most importantly, how to put the ring on his bride’s finger. I am sure there must be many bemused hotel staff who have watched as the groom apparently promises to love me and to care for me as he holds my left hand and mimes putting a ring on my finger! Your best man has a key role to play in the ceremony and I must admit that I am quite tough with them, walking through where they will stand, how they will keep the rings safe and how and when to walk forward with them. I also spend time with the lucky people doing the readings, walking through with them when to come forward and where to stand (they take my place between you both). The challenge with doing the walk through on the day is that I don’t have the opportunity to work with the most important person on the day – the bride – nor can I prepare the bridesmaids nor the bride’s mother.
 

If you want your wedding to be a little more formal and to appear polished then you really must have a rehearsal. I normally take about 30 -45 minutes and spend most of the time managing the staging and blocking, like a piece of theatre. At a rehearsal we will have the opportunity to run through the Grand Entrance and to work with the bride, her father and the bridesmaids to sort out the timing and to ensure that they know their positions and how to move to them. We can fully rehearse the readings, the best man’s role, and, of course, the exit. But perhaps the most important part is the time that I can spend with the two of you, having asked everyone else to leave, reading your own personal vows or commitments to each other and exchanging your rings.
 
My own recommendation? If it is at all possible, have a rehearsal.
 
Claire was good enough to send me the following note:
 

We can’t thank you enough for being such a major part of what turned out to be the most amazing day of our lives.

All our guests commented on how fantastic you were, and all our English guests were bowled over with what a humanist ceremony entailed. They thought it was amazing at how personal it was. We even had a few guests who aren’t that struck on weddings ceremonies say it was the best service ever and had wished it was longer as they were enjoying so much!!!!

Also since the wedding I have passed your details on to other people, they’ll be very lucky like ourselves if your able to marry them.