Tag: humanist wedding

To The Roman Camp with Katie and Sam

On By @humanistbrianIn Roman Camp1 Comment

A beautiful drive up to the Trossachs, still not too many caravans on the road nor tractors to raise my blood pressure so arrived relaxed and ready to go. The Roman Camp is a lovely venue, expensive I imagine, but lovely with the most amazing staff. I was greeted by Alex Graham as I arrived. He was the pianist for the ceremony and he and I had worked together before but neither of us could remember where. I found Sam and the Best Man amongst the guests in the bar and walked through the ring exchange with them. Katie and bridesmaids arrived on time.
One of the things I ask my wedding couples to do is some homework and I ask them to tell me their story and their hopes and dreams for their marriage. The thing is that I ask them to do it separately and sometimes, just sometimes the result can be hilarious. Let me illustrate from Katie and Sam’s ceremony:
” Sometimes you read someone’s homework and your heart sinks. Let me quote from the first paragraph of Katie’s homework, “We were set up on a blind date by Sam’s brother, didn’t go so well – he was a cheapskate who had no clue about wine and was very keen.”  It doesn’t get much better but let’s just find out, from Sam, what actually happened.

According to him that first date generally went very well. I hate to think what a date going badly would be like. Anyway, apparently there was a slight misunderstanding over the wine because Sam thought £14 for a bottle of house wine was expensive. Well, they had managed to get through two of them but still, so he asked Katie to go Dutch. The word cheapskate does actually spring to mind Sam.  As Sam says in his homework, with a hint of despair, “there was no second date”.”

Needless to say it all turned out right in the end. we had two readings and the second was read by Lisa, one of their friends. It is called Marriage Fulfils The Dreams And Love Two People Share by Glenda Wilm:

“Everyone searches for one special person
They can share their lives with.
The other half who makes them whole,
Like two notes blending together to make a beautiful song,
Or the colours that complement
Each other to form a rainbow.
It is everyone’s wish to have a lifetime of sunny days,
A rainbow after every storm;
A lifetime of loving and living and growing and giving,
Of sharing and caring; a lifetime of days together,
Learning from the bad times and cherishing the good times.
Marriage is everything your heart desires
And the strength, courage and determination to work for it.
In marriage you take care of each other’s heart
And hold on to what you share.
You hold it gently so it doesn’t smother
And firmly so it doesn’t slip away.
Hold it so that it can grow
And you can grow together
And live and laugh and love together always”


Not a dry eye in the room.

A Chilly Day at Dundas Castle with Marcus and Lindsey

On By @humanistbrianIn Dundas CastleLeave a comment

It was quite a cold and damp March day as I threaded my way through the road works for the new Forth crossing, skirted South Queensferry and made my way through the front entrance to Dundas Castle. Perhaps they will restore the wee road outside Newton once the new bridge is open.




I discovered Marcus and his best man with his guests in the tower relaxing (ha, ha) before the big event. We managed to grab a few moments and walked through the ring exchange just to make sure we all knew what we were doing.
At Dundas Castle the ceremony is held in the chapel atop the tower up a long, winding and uneven circular stone staircase and I seemed to spend a lot of time and energy going up and down the stairs to get updated on Lindsey’s progress.
The guests were all asked to climb the stairs to the chapel, the music played and we waited patiently. Then, in the distance, I heard the swirl of the bagpipes that heralds the bride’s entrance.
At the beginning of the ceremony Lindsey and Marcus took a moment to light a candle for everyone who could not share in the celebrations; a very touching moment. The rest of the ceremony was very simple, just as they wanted it to be and focused very much on them and their hopes and dreams for the of life together.

 

Dundas is a wonderful venue, very traditional, a true taste of Scotland and remarkably close to Edinburgh. The staff are professional and whole event is always handled with care and precision. What more could you ask for?

Just Perfect – John Muir Grove with Victoria and Gavin

On By @humanistbrianIn Botanic Gardens, John Muir GroveLeave a comment

It’s Official.
I have decided that my favourite venue in May has to be the Botanic Gardens in Edinburgh and the stunning John Muir Grove. The rhododendrons and azaleas are just coming into their own, their flowers vivid and bright and the whole place is lush with spring growth.

Even last Sunday it was beautiful. The weather was dubious, it had been very showery in the morning. Showery as in stair rods showery, and my heart fell for poor Vicki. But as I drove over the rain slowed it dried up, and as I arrived I noticed the staff carrying the chairs across the path and up the hill to the John Muir Grove. Gavin had taken an executive decision to move the wedding outside and a good call it was as well.

The guys from the Apollo Strings were there, tuning up in the marquee before making their way up to the grove and there were the usual crowds of inquisitive tourists and spectators wondering what on earth was going on with all those men in kilts hanging around, beautiful women in their fancy frocks and staff wrapping seats in white and rolling out red carpets.

The ceremony that Gavin and Vicki had written was short, simple and humorous, just exactly what was required for the day because it was a bit chilly when the sun disappeared.

 Oh, and the Apollo Strings have changed their name to Capella thereby ruining one of my best gags when I ask the “appalling strings” to play while we sign the schedule. Anyone who can come up with a good line around “Capella” gets a prize.

Completely Mad – David and Laura at the Birds and the Bees

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 “We thought we’d do a kind of fairground theme,” said David when we first met back in January. “We’re planning to have the wedding outside.” he said,
“In May? In Scotland?” I replied thinking, this man is off his trolley.
“Yeh, we’ll be fine. We’re going to put up a small marquee just in case it rains and people need somewhere to eat at the barbecue.”
“Barbecue!” I was thinking that I’d had barbecues rained off in Scotland in August never mind May.
“It’ll be fine.” Laura emphasised.

And so the day dawned and it wasn’t too bad, a bit cloudy, odd bits of sunshine, occasional drizzle and a cold wind from the east that would have cut you in half but we went for it and it was charming.
The wedding was held on the 4th May which as well as being National Weather Observers Day was, of course, Intergalactic Star Wars Day and I could therefore say “May the fourth be with you” with out blushing (too much).

Laura’s good friend Irene began with a reading which was unfamiliar to me:

 His hello was the end of her endings,

Her laugh was their first step down the aisle.
His hand would be hers to hold forever,
His forever was as simple as her smile.

An ocean couldn’t prevent it.
A New York minute wouldn’t let it pass.
Does the universe decide for us,
Which love will fade and which will last.

He said she was what was missing.
She said she instantly knew.
She was a question to be answered.
And his answer was “I do.”

I performed a variation of a hand fasting for them called “tying the Big Knot” where, by using two broad, stiffened ribbons and a little piece of magic the ribbons tie themselves into a beautiful double bow. The exchange of rings was interesting. David had decided not to have a physical ring but rather have one tatooed onto his ring finger so Laura uncovered his “ring” after hers had arrived on the back of a remote controlled car. What else?

My overwhelming memory of their day? It has to be the big bowls of chips that everyone shared after the ceremony.

A great day.

Through Wind and Snow to Culcreuch Castle for Sarah and Colin

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The 17th March 2013 was the day of the big family party to celebrate my aunt’s 80th birthday in Gatehouse of Fleet but before that I had a far more important event to attend – Sarah and Colin’s wedding. So my wife and I set off for Fintry in the sleety rain and had a lovely drive through the Stirlingshire countryside and then on to Fintry. No problems so far. Everyone was gathered at the magical Culcreuch Castle and I met up with Colin and his best man to run through the Band Warming* and the ring exchange before Sarah and the rest of the bridal party arrived.

 Sarah’s Dad piped her in and we were ready to go. The ceremony was great fun, it couldn’t fail to be when the part when I share the story of how they met began:

“So there were Colin and Ben trying to rent out this tiny, crap room in their flat and interviewing prospective flat mates. Colin had obviously lost the will to live as one after another trooped through the door. They had asked the candidates to email their application and Colin started reading their emails out in front of them. As he said in his homework, “I must have sounded like a total idiot”. One of the applicants was Sarah and she remembers the whole experience just made her cringe. A great start to a relationship.”

We had some wonderful readings, the bridesmaids cried a little, Colin’s Mum cried a little and lost her voice as she read. I announced them husband and wife and we all began to follow them out… into the snow!
When they sent me the photograph of the two of them in the snow infront of the castle I was seriously impressed because we had left by that point, having had a drink (orange juice!) to wish the happy couple well. In fact I reckon that while they were having their photograph taken my wife and I were slithering around on an untreated road crossing the Fintry Hills at 10 MPH.

Oh, and we made it all the way to Gatehouse without incident.

*A Band Warming is a lovely way to involve all your guests in your ceremony. At the beginning of the ceremony I ask the Best Man to bring the rings forward and I tie them with a ribbon. I then ask each of your guests to hold your rings for a moment or two to warm them, make a wish for your marriage and then pass them on. As I explain to everyone, “it would be great if the rings could make their way back to the front of the room for the vows. Well, better than great, necessary is the word I’m looking for.”

What Do You Do If It Rains? Emma and Grant at the Botanic Gardens

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I suppose one of the solutions to rain during your dream wedding is that we get wet!

It was a showery day as I travelled to the Botanic Gardens; one moment the sun was shining, the next it was chucking it down. When I arrived at the gardens I assumed that we would be going for “Plan B” and hold the ceremony in the Caledonian Hall but no, Emma had set her heart on her wedding being in the John Muir Grove and, as Grant said, it wasn’t raining that badly and it will definitely clear up for half an hour. Nearly Grant, nearly.


You can’t blame Emma, it is the most wonderful setting amongst the towering cedars, a natural arena for your perfect day. It kind of rained off and on during the ceremony and, as you can see from the photos, the team at the Botanic Gardens have umbrellas galore. Emma and her Dad arrived in a drizzle and my heart sank but it cleared and we managed the rest of the ceremony in the comparative dry (i.e. a light drizzle) until, of course, it came to signing the Wedding Schedule. At that point, as the rain really started to come down, I decided to cut our losses and moved the signing to the warmth of the marquee next to the Hall. I think I got a round of applause when I told the guests my plan.

I reflected as I drove home with my kilt and jacket quietly steaming and the car windows misting up that it would be wedding that no one there would ever forget and stories would be told for years to come.

I think bedraggled is the description I am looking for

Let’s Move The Wedding Outside – Fiona and Kris at Prestonfield House Hotel

On By @humanistbrianIn Prestonfield House HotelLeave a comment

 “Fiona’s decided that she wants her wedding to be outside. Is that Ok with you?” I looked at my watch it was 4:35 and the ceremony was due to begin at 5:00pm. “Eh, yes, I suppose, it’s not a problem for me,” I replied. 



It was a glorious summer evening, not something we have experienced in Scotland for a good few months, and the extraordinary hotel staff got to work moving the fifty or more chairs from the garden suite to the garden. And the table to sign the schedule, and the floral arrangements and two large classical pediments and the harpist. At 4:45 we were ready to go and the guests started arriving – most of them to the garden suite which confused them completely. With Arthur’s Seat and Salisbury Crags as a backdrop and beneath the shade of the enormous oak and beech trees the setting was idyllic and the ceremony matched the occasion perfectly.

Awaiting the bride’s arrival

Emma, Fiona’s Maid of Honour came forward and presented a reading, well, it was way more than a reading. She started, “When I was asked to speak today, I wanted to find the perfect quote about love.” She then took us through her considerations touching upon Wet Wet Wet, Elvis, Meatloaf, Richard Geare and ended with, of course, William Shakespeare. Very clever.

Fiona and Kris chose to exchange their declarations and their formal vows in a hand fasting ceremony. They chose to read their own declarations to one another and they were beautiful:

Signing the schedule

“Today I give myself to you in marriage.

I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, 
and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. 
I promise to love you in good times and in bad, 
when life seems easy and when it seems hard,
when our love is simple, and when it is an effort.
I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard. 
These things I give to you today, and all the days of our lives.” 

  It is one of those ceremonies that I will never forget, Fiona’s moving the ceremony, the beautiful evening, their wonderful friends and family. I was completely blown away when Fiona and Kris sent me an eCard thanking me for the ceremony:

It was an honour and a privilege to be a part of your special day guys. Thank you.

Rachael and James at the Royal College of Physicians

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 It has been raining in Scotland non-stop (or so it seems) for two months. I have had three outdoor weddings moved inside because of the weather. Last year in total I had one.

I was not looking forward to the walk up the hill to Queens Street in Edinburgh to the imposing Royal College of Physicians because, frankly, there is nothing worse than a soggy kilt hem sawing its way through the back of your knees. But it was fine, I managed to dodge the thundery showers, and arrived to the strains of the string quartet playing in the library. What a venue, just stunning and, with a lot of Rachael and James’s relatives having travelled over from Canada, it just captured the essence of Edinburgh’s New Town and the age of enlightenment.

Rachael and James asked to perform a handfasting. There are many variations on this ancient ritual using various numbers of ribbons or even ropes. A handfasting symbolises your union by joining your hands together and originally symbolised a union for a year and a day although of course in a marriage ceremony it symbolises your union for life. The most common handfasting ceremonies use either one ribbon as in this case or two ribbons that tie themselves together when you draw your hands apart.

I have the distinct feeling that Rachael influenced the choice of readings which included:

  • The Lovely Love Story from the children’s book by Edward Monkton (Thank you Flora)
  • An extract from the Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams (Thank you Cate) and
  • Love by Roy Croft (Thank You Emily)

We followed the bride and groom across the road and into Queen Street Gardens (a first for me) and there, waiting for us was a Luca’s ice cream van. Result!

Marie and Kenneth at Glencorse Old Kirk

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As you can see I believe that a wedding should be a joyful occasion and that it is OK to have a laugh or two. I am pleased to see that it even amused the musicians who must have been to more than a few weddings before. I ask the couples that I am to marry to do some homework for me and to tell us how we come to be at the wedding and how they met. There is always an opportunity for a smile, or more, especially when I have been sent two separate accounts of the same story. I seem to recall that this moment was about the proposal when Kenneth pulled out an engagement ring made of pipe cleaners and proposed to Marie on a freezing cold day in Dunfermline.

Glencorse House is dramatic and romantic. I actually married them in the Old Kirk, down by the gates to the house, and it is a wonderfully atmospheric venue, an old church building with no electricity and yet full of light, even on a dreech day. I joined the guests for a glass of orange juice (I had another wedding later in the afternoon) and then went to bid my farewells to the newlyweds only to discover that the photographer had whisked them off to a secret location in the woods. I had to text my goodbye and apology to Marie the next day. She forgave me and was good enough to send a message with the photos just before they departed on their honeymoon.


“Thanks again for such a lovely ceremony – lots of people are still going on about how lovely and personal it was and how you had them all laughing, then crying at some bits”

A very, very special wedding – Little Sparta’s first wedding ceremony

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 I have discovered the secret of finding the right wedding venue. Choose somewhere that means such a lot to the two of you that nothing else matters. If you want to make it really special choose a venue where no one else has ever been married. And, if you want to add that zing of excitement to whole event choose somewhere outside in Scotland in June and don’t have a back-up plan.

Guests assembled around the sunken garden

Welcome to Georgia and Dan’s wedding day at Little Sparta. Little Sparta was the home and inspiration of Ian Hamilton Finlay CBE the famous Scottish writer and artist.

It is his garden, designed and built around his extraordinary confidence as an artist and is a work of art in its own right. Have a look at the Little Sparta Trust website http://www.littlesparta.co.uk/home.htm and please arrange to visit. It is the most beautiful place.

On a nice day.

Little Sparta meant so much to Georgia and Dan that they decided that it was where they were going to get married. They had to persuade the trustees to let them hold their wedding in the garden but they agreed. It is the first and only wedding to be held at the garden and I have just heard from Georgia that they have decided to offer it as a wedding venue but I suspect that they will limit the number of guests attending.

Dan and Georgia with Annie

As I arrived, after the mile long walk from the car park, the swing quartet were tuning-up – Django Reinhardt’s version of Georgia, what else, I seem to recall – and the ushers and best man were making the final preparations. The guests arrived by coach, Dan with them and we listened to the excellent music and sipped champagne until Georgia was due to arrive. There were little kids everywhere and they were loving it.

We assembled around a small sunken garden and the ceremony got underway – very relaxed, very laid-back. It was a short ceremony because we knew that Georgia and Dan’s wonderful daughter Annie would want to be part of it all (and would get easily bored!). we had one reading, exchanged vows and rings and then, to complete the whole magical event, the quartet struck-up Love and Marriage, the Frank Sinatra classic and we all had a singsong. Brilliant!

..go together like a horse and carriage